I’m calling it “The Happiness Plan”; a series of needs for the new year! It might sound like I am making new years resolutions but these are goals I actually intend on following. I must say every time I make new years resolutions, I never follow through but if I make a list of needs to be happy I think I might actually accomplish them!Dear anonymous reader, 2015 was not the year for me. I worried and became rather stressed out, took on a copious amount of responsibility and projects, and lost sight of the things that I actually enjoyed. I became so caught up in futile efforts to not disappoint those around me putting a lot of pressure on myself to be (for lack of another word) perfect. What is perfection though? It certainly was not the late nights hammering out an essay that I had lost all motivation to do resulting in less than enough time to produce good work. I know for sure it wasn’t the early evenings where I crashed at 8 pm due to a hectic day at class, work and meetings. It most certainly was not the little time I had for my partner and close friends. So what is perfection? And why did I spend all of 2015 trying to be the image of it? I really could not tell you but I can tell you that chasing perfection is a waste. It is a waste of time, energy and happiness. I personally spent so much time trying to please others and keep myself on this pedestal I had built for myself, that I forgot how to live and love and instead let distaste, fatigue and disappointment consume me.
So dear reader, I propose that if you feel your past year was similar to my own – that you embark on a journey of happiness with me. I have devised a set of rules or rather guidelines for this coming year which I have titled ‘The Happiness Plan’. I personally have been working on a painted version for my room but this is the little online version I’ve made to share with you (words and content unchanged from that of my room version):
Each statement is an ideal I want to follow for the coming year. Something I think I missed in 2015 and for that reason I was chronically unhappy and disappointed with my self and my life. I know it shouldn’t be that way I mean I have a wonderful family, some great friends, and amazing partner, a good job, I’m going to post-secondary – I shouldn’t have a reason to be unhappy! I’m hoping with these lessons and these guidelines I will bring myself back to the state of ‘happy’ I once was at! This is general by the way. I know we all have our ups and our downs – I just want to make sure the overall vibe is positive! Let me break down each of these very briefly;
- “More Me Time” – This is a big one! I barely picked up by guitar this past year and very rarely do I take leisure photos now a days. It seems between work, clubs/societies,class and social gatherings, I had very little me time to just ‘do me’. I want to set aside time to go for the run I’ve been meaning to go for, to take my camera out for more random shoots, to read a book once in awhile that isn’t about policy and world issues.
- Stop worrying about disappointing others – Another HUGE one. This is probably one of my greatest flaws. I have allowed the opinion of others to control my actions and ultimately my happiness. I rarely say no and do things for my self and make choices that benefit me because I’m worried that others will get mad at me or be upset with me. Imagine that , being involved in many different groups and purposes and not barely missing anything for fear of what others will say to you or about you should you miss it. I need to do more for myself. I need to stop being afraid of what others might say about me and I guess that starts with laying my heart on the line here. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy aspects of my involvement in things but that is really all I do and sometimes I just want to go home and see my family or take a night off and get some fresh air. I need to start doing that for myself – I need to be committed to my happiness before I can really contribute to the happiness and functioning of anything else.
- TAKE MORE RISKS – this follows suit with the previous goal. I can’t worry about embarrassing myself anymore because it is bound to happen anyway. PEOPLE FORGET IT. No one really cares about your embarrassing moment as much as you do. I am probably focusing on my awkward stance at a bar more than anyone else is. I need to go out there and try more. You only live once and I don’t want my life to be dictated by the fear of embarrassing myself.
- Spend more time with positive people – There are some people I’ve met that have a light about them that they carry everywhere and when I’m with them everything feels all light and fluffy! However, because I am always doing work for something I rarely get to spend time with these individuals. 2016 will allow for more time with the people I love and the positive individuals I’ve neglected this year. One of my best friends from high school , my Fetty Wap car jam buddy who won’t let me fall asleep watching movies anymore, the fella who I’ve never met but we have probably 5o mutual friends and have only conversed on Facebook etc.
- CrEaTe MoRe – art deprivation. That is how I could summarize this past year. For an artist, art is your outlet. Maybe that is part of the reason I felt 2015 was lacking substance: I didn’t have my art. With the exception of graphic/photographic work for clubs and work, I did not do a lot of art this past year! I plan to make more time for it this coming year. Why waste my passion? Just doesn’t seem right to me!
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff; (and it really is a lot of small stuff) – So you got into a wee tiff with a friend or made a mistake; instead of focusing on how awful of a person you are and how to avoid the situation, move on! I personally do not life confrontation and instead just sit by myself an analyze every aspect of the situation instead of letting it go. I worry that my mistake will haunt the person and they won’t ever forget it and I let that worry plague my mind and make me sick. Why? If someone wants to carry my mistake with them and hold it against me, then they don’t need nor want to be a part of my future and that’s okay. This year I vow to let it go and not let small things get me down. When i forget about my milk and it spoils I will throw it out and not get upset about wasting it, when I shrink my clothes in the dryer I’ll just wet in and stretch it to dry instead of tearing up. I get so caught up in these little, insignificant problems and 2016 will bring an end to that.
- STOP TO SMELL THE ROSES – Go, go, go summarizes 2015. I just kept going from one thing to the next that I didn’t enjoy or really appreciate what I was doing. I mean I have an awesome job where I get to assist with shoots sometimes, I was invited to do a speech, I got to let loose with some friends quite a few times, I went to a killer art show in Toronto – all these things fade into the background when you’re constantly thinking about what you have to do next. I want to enjoy what I’m doing and this year I intend to.
That’s my confession of the past year. The things that have been on my mind that I’ve been too afraid to say and too afraid to change. Bring on 2016 – I’m ready!
Happy New Year Readers and thank you so much for your support this year! Expect more from Creative and Chaos in 2016 🙂 P.S what is on your happiness list for the new year?