Lifestyle · The Writing of Us

Why it is Okay to Not Have a Million Close Friends

Friendship blog posts

All throughout elementary school and into high-school I thought I needed a lot of friends to be happy and I thought popularity was extremely important. That being said, I was not shy to the lifestyle of being walked over by some of those around me and never really learned how to stand up against it. I am also not shy to being, well, shy. I kept going with the mentality that I needed a lot of friends to be happy even if I got burned by some. I’ve started to learn, it really is the opposite, isn’t it?

I’d say it all started in about grade ten when I got into a row with one or two close friends and I opened my eyes to the individuals around me. I started to realize that I really only have a select few people in my life that I can trust 100 percent and an even smaller amount of those people who I have had the opportunity to stay close to. There are some though that I don’t get to talk to all the time but know that if I called them in 15 years asking for them as my bridesmaid , they would be there!

Now back to the point,

During the last year of my high school career I noticed I was only close with maybe 5 people. Those 5 I still talk to on occasion today, one being my best friend. I still get to talk to her almost every day. I can call her up when something has gone wrong and need to cry and vent about it and celebrate with her my achievements.

Another girlfriend from high school I currently go to university with and she’s on the top of my list. She’s stuck around through all my ups and downs and she’s like another little sister to me. I’d drop everything if she needed me and I know she’d do the same.

Also, when I moved to a new city to start university I moved into residence and lived with a roommate I had spoken with online. Within a few months she became one of the greatest friends I’d ever had. We’d stay up late and dance in our common room and I could sit and talk with her for hours on end. She is also one of THE BEST bakers ever so I have an unlimited supply of homemade treats.

I also lucked out in meeting and girl who would later be my Big Sister in a sorority I joined.  Right of the bat I could tell she was a perfect fit for my world. I spent a majority of my first year with her and she’s saved my ass more than once! Not to mention she shares many of the same interests but still maintains so many different views that we never run out of things to talk about (here’s a hint, we get along so well and are so similar that we started a blog together).

Last but not least there is the man I met within the first month at a new school. I was so ecstatic to have a new guy best friend and after a few short weeks realized I didn’t just find a new best friend but a boyfriend that was perfect for me in each and every way. He challenges me to be better and see different sides of things and can make me laugh at any given moment.

High-school was so much about popularity and who could have a copious amount of “friends” and people willing to follow them. Why though? I have these five close people who I talk to every day plus my amazing family, few long distance friendships and other friendships and I could not be happier. You do not under any circumstances have to be super close with everyone you know. My secrets are held within these few people and my successes celebrated in addition to hugs and love when I’ve fallen from my path a little bit. I know that they will all be constant throughout my life because of the kind people they are. Of course, we get into disagreements sometimes, we make mistakes but what good relationship doesn’t have those bumps in the road?

What I am trying to say is this;

You may be worried that you don’t have a whole lot of friends or maybe only that one close friend you can talk to. You do not have to be. One true friend is so much better than 100 acquaintances. A few close friends, in addition to other friends from school, work, organizations you are a part of,( whatever the situation) and you can be content with life. Life isn’t a popularity contest

Having few extremely close friends means that you know exactly who you can call when something goes wrong and who you can trust completely. It means when you have that celebratory dinner for getting the job you really want, those few people with be there by your side to celebrate your success and support you 100%. It means that anytime, anywhere those people will be around and it’s a lot less lonely knowing you have someone committed to your friendship 100%. It makes darker days a little bit lighter and light days even brighter.

I guess I should finish this with a thank you. The 5 people I mentioned, you know who you are; thank you for sticking around when I’ve lost my mind , when I decided brown pants, a black and white checkered shirt and blue vest were a good outfit idea,  accepting my 1 am phone calls to rant, for going to that expensive café with me just to try what turned out to be an awful cappuccino , for sitting in the car with me for hours talking about life, for not minding that I like to stick my head out the window when we go for drives and being okay with the fact that I just want to sit in bed and watch Netflix sometimes. Your ability to put up with me and stick by my side through thick and thin has not gone unnoticed and is much appreciated. You’re an addition to my family, and I love you forever for it.

“Making a million friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a friend who will stand with you when millions are against you”

~Em

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